“Now this is more like it”

My boyfriend rubbed his hands together and licked his lips as we walked into the room at the very back of the art gallery. I glanced at the picture nearest to me and sighed, rolling my eyes and shaking my head slightly. Reece had brought me to the gallery as a birthday surprise, and now I was stood in a room full of nude paintings and naked statues. He peered very closely at the paintings in this room. I scowled at him as he moved from painting to painting, a little smile playing at the corner of his mouth as his eyes roved over the naked ladies presented before him. I sighed again and examined the first picture more closely. He obviously wasn’t going to want to leave this room any time soon so I may as well get what I could from it.

As I turned to seek out where Reece was a few minutes later, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head and at the back of the room was a statue. My heartbeat sped up a little as I considered the impossible notion that the statue had moved. Reece looked up at me, then followed my line of sight to the statue. He grinned and made his way over to it. I followed him over to drag him back, a little unnerved by what I thought I had seen. It was just a trick of the light, I was sure, but we were the only two people in the room and I had a sudden urge to flee.

“She’s not bad for an older woman. I wonder why the artist sculpted her instead of some perky, nubile, young thing like you?

I glanced up at the statue, it was frowning. It wasn’t frowning before, was it? I couldn’t remember but it seemed a strange facial expression to have on a naked statue. My attention was captured at that point however, by Reece sliding his arms around my waist, his hands gripping my bottom lightly as he pulled me against him.

“I’d rather look at you naked. Then again…that statue looks a lot like you. Much older, obviously, but she looks like you.”

I looked closer at the statue’s face and my mouth fell open. I stared wide-eyed, backing away hastily. My hand flew up to my mouth.

“That’s my mum.”

“No way! I’m looking at a nude statue of your mum? That’s brilliant”

I’d just turned away and lifted my arm to smack Reece on the back of the head when a third voice made me freeze.

“Oh dear. You aren’t planning on marrying this guy are you? Tanya, you can do so much better.”

I swivelled slowly back to the statue.

“Mum? What the hell?”

“I told you I had a new job sweetie. I’m a living statue. Isn’t it great?”



  1. I let out a big chuckle at the end of this story. How embarrassing to find your mother stark naked in front of you – and in public of all places!

    I’ve no doubt that the young woman was ‘horrified to discover’ that her mother was a nude living statue! 🙂


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